Being a Martyr

Being a Martyr USEDWe all have met or know someone who is in that "poor me" state. The world is a very unsatisfying place when one feels that way. You hear: Why me? Why does nobody like me? Why is everybody so mean to me? Why...why...why. And there is really no answer. The only way to change things is changing how one looks at things, people, life and a good attitude adjustment will do wonders.

The solution is not outside. People will not change, life will go on happening with things to like or dislike. The only thing that can change is you! So the solution always lies within. When getting up in the morning we can decide if the day will be good, busy but good busy; nothing to do but a good leisure time; people will be enjoyed or criticized; life events will be accepted or rejected. This is free choice and everyone has it. It is up to us what we'll do with it and our happiness is in direct relation to it. We feel we have no control over life events, but we do. We might not be able to change what is happening, the workload in front of us, people having a bad day and taking it out on us, but we have control over how we feel about it. Too much work? Prioritize and organize, make sure deadlines are met and be cheerful about it all. Things get done better and faster with a joyful heart. People being stressed and unpleasant? Be empathetic, help if you can, but you don't have to carry their load. Life events are not to your liking? Look at them objectively. See what you can do and often things look much better with a little distance.

Staying in the "poor me" state, blaming everyone and everything for the perceived "misfortune" is very detrimental and can only lead to more unhappiness. It is a downward spiral and the only way to get off it is to change our outlook. A little step at a time, get organized if you feel overworked, love people and be kind to them if you feel you are mistreated, see the good in them. Accept life events as opportunities. Rome wasn't built in one day, as the saying goes, and it will also take time to adjust your thinking. But without starting it as of right now, nothing will ever change.

Let's embrace life, people and mostly ourselves.

Life & Wellness Coach



"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances,
but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."

Hugh Downs

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