It is Your Choice

I can still hear my mother saying: “You need an attitude adjustment, dear,” and I realized already then, in my younger years, that my attitude was my choice, and that I was in control.

Our attitude is up to us, no matter what is happening. We can decide to be optimistic and handle things as they come along to the best of our capabilities, or we can choose to be a victim and feel sorry for ourselves.

We are often confronted with having to make difficult decisions concerning relationships, challenges in our professional lives, heartbreaking illness or addictions in our inner circle, to point out a few, and last but not least our own personal struggles.

I recently posted on a medical social media site and received comments that my attitude was remarkable and unusual, considering my late stage Myelofibrosis. This reaction inspired me to write this blog and share how I maintain my positive outlook.

It took some inner work after I received my medical diagnosis years ago. I was stunned and shocked. I had to dig deep within me to find the strength to cope. My metaphysical studies helped me tremendously, and I was grateful for this tool in my toolbox.

Attitude is our choice, and ours alone. No one can make that decision for you. When we realize this truth, we have successfully taken the first step. And then we have to accept that our thoughts define our attitude and that we are in control. We can let the monkey brain create havoc, or we can focus on positive feelings, which will then become the basis for our positive attitude. Now you have completed the second step. The third step is to breathe deeply and to find peace and quietness within. Fill your heart with gratitude and let it flow throughout your body. Yes, there is always something to be grateful for. When I received the estimate of my life expectancy earlier this year, which was shorter than I had anticipated, I was able to focus my gratitude on the exciting life I have lived, the many places in the world I was privileged to visit, my loving husband supporting me with kindness and love, my caring friends, our sweet little Yorkie Romeo, and the list goes on. Anything else was not an option for me. I didn’t focus on what I will be missing or how I was cheated out of a long life. When I am asked how I can maintain my positive attitude, my spontaneous internal reaction is “how could I afford not to”? Being positive allows me to enjoy my remaining life. The other choice would mean lots of sadness and depression.

There are many circumstances in our lives, calling for a decision on how to best handle them. Worrying excessively and/or falling into a black hole doesn’t cause things to improve, on the contrary. But going through the three-step approach outlined above will allow you to keep a smile on your face, gratitude in your heart, and the possibility of maintaining a positive attitude.

I hope this will help. It has been my lifeline and still is.

Silvia Coggin, CPC
Author and Founder of

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