An amusing event happened a few days ago, bringing the word “blaming” into focus. Although “blame and blaming” can be severe topics, I’ll write this experience in the form of a brief parody: Here is the story:

Our dryer made some strange noises, and we called the repair people. A burly guy arrived, took the machine apart and then he called me. Perched on his finger was a purple panty, and he told me with a big smile that he found it in the lint fan. He also mentioned that in his long career, he had never run across this problem before. Of course, I recognized my underwear, wanted to disappear into a hole and didn’t know what to say. My first reaction was: it couldn’t have been me; I wouldn’t run the dryer without the lint filter. Would I? Well, there was no one to blame but myself – I do my laundry!

This was a vivid example for me how easy it is for us to look for someone to blame, to shed our responsibility. It is an unkind and insensitive action, and when we become aware of it, taking responsibility is the right thing to do. It is is also an example where we may blame ourselves. My first reaction went from one to the other, but I had to face reality, I was guilty as charged!

Let’s be kind and give ourselves and others some space and understanding. A simple event, no one, and nothing got hurt besides my pride, but it taught me a precious lesson. If something goes wrong, don’t look to place blame. Just fix it and go on with life.

My husband couldn’t resist bringing the panty to me that evening, holding it as the repairman had done a few hours earlier. He asked me if I wanted him to put it into my laundry. I swallowed my pride again, saw the humor in the whole thing, and told him that the garbage sounded more promising.

Silvia Coggin, CPC
Author and Founder of


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6 Responses to “Blaming”

  1. Avatar Heide

    You are so right; it’s so easy to blame ourselves or others and that doesn’t do any good. Let’s try to stay positive. Thanks for reminding me….

    • Avatar Silvia Coggin

      Blaming is so easy to do, and sometimes we don’t even realize what we are doing. The first time I had to cope with it was when our aunt and uncle were so cruel to me. Although I had all the reasons in the world to blame them for the mental turmoil and pain they caused me after having lost my beloved mother, I worked hard not to blame, so that I could forgive them. I was successful, and it opened a better world for me. Thanks for reading my blog; it means a lot to me.

  2. Avatar Robert Oro

    We used to read a series of children’s books to our kids “The Berenstein Bears.” The one book that was one of our favorites was “The Blame Game” Was a good lesson for the kids and for ourselves!!
    Hi to Steve!
    You rock!
    Enjoy the Journey,
    Bob and Debbie

    • Avatar Silvia Coggin

      I do not know the book having grown up in Europe, but Steve remembers it well. Now I will check out the book and cannot wait to read it.

  3. Avatar Katharine Vuille

    Love this! And this life lesson reminder is needed everywhere from home to the office, to homeowner community coops in my case. Just so true.


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